Have you ever composed a Facebook or Instagram post and then suddenly you discarded it and went on with your life? Just like you, I did. And I can’t believe I’ve been doing that for almost five years now.
I used to share a looooooot on social media. But when I checked my feed, facebook is all about work while IG’s last post was three years ago.
All of a sudden I just started to ask myself what’s the point of sharing what I’m having for lunch? Or telling people I got a new sneakers? Or I’m having a lazy afternoon with my dog? Why do I need to share where I’ve been? And what’s the point of sharing my shameless selfie to the world?
While I understand the psychology and joy behind those likes and hearts, I asked myself, for what? It’ll stay there for a few days or weeks and then what? Do I really need social reputation and validation from others who don’t really know me? Is it real happiness? While I can’t find the answers, I unconsciously stopped. I no longer take photos for the gram. And sometimes, I don’t take any picture at all.
The Culprit
I’m trying to figure out what happened and I found who the culprit is. My husband. Not because he asked me to stop sharing on social media, but because he asked me to watch “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty”.
Walter is the main character in the movie but the person I blame and thank is Sean O’Connell, a photojournalist. In the movie, both are on a mountain attempting to take a picture of a snow leopard, also called a “ghost cat”. To take a photo of it is really extraordinary as you rarely see this animal. But after hours of waiting, it suddenly appeared, giving them the moment they’ve been waiting for.
But Sean isn’t doing anything. Walter asked “When are you going to take it?”. And Sean just said, he won’t. “If I like a moment, for me, personally, I don’t like to have the distraction of the camera. I just want to stay in it. Right there. Right here.”
The Lesson
That statement made me realize that not all things have to be recorded nor shared in order for them to be meaningful. All we need is to be fully present to create the most significant and powerful memory even without those likes. Sometimes, we’re too busy taking photos for the gram without realizing that a special moment, though captured perfectly, will forever be gone.
So the need to capture everything perfectly, slowly faded until it was totally out of my DNA. I learned to enjoy the sunset with a cold beer, not a camera on the side. I got to eat hot and fresh dishes immediately without disarranging the table setting for the perfect flat lay. I learned to prioritize creating real memories while on vacations versus ensuring I have the perfect outfit for the gram. And I learned to savor the moment when my son flashed his first smile, uttered his first word, and made that first step with my face, not a camera, right in front of him.
But please don’t get me wrong. I still take photos (if I remember) but it doesn’t need to be perfect and IG worthy. And even though they are, the need to share is gone.
Now what you’ll read next may sound ironic. But the reason I analyzed why I stopped sharing on social media is because I’m thinking if sticking to this perspective is still worth it.
The Trigger
Last July, I posted an old photo of my post-operation due to scoliosis. I shared how my prayer (on being alive) was the same after eight years given the Covid-19 situation now. I’m being a little sarcastic actually when I did it. But then, messages from different parts of the world started to come in asking big and unexpected questions. “Are you living a normal life? Do you experience pain? Is it possible to be normal again? Can you have a child? Can you have your life back?” and the list goes on.
It dawned on me that a reply from me, a complete stranger, can make a big impact on their lives. It can either inspire or demotivate them. It can give feelings of encouragement or disappointments. It can give hope or pain. I can make a big dent on their life due to a post intended only to serve my boredom and amusement on how crazy life is.
So I was reminded that social media is not just about social validation. I’s not just a platform where everybody has an opinion on something (whether relevant or not). It’s not just a site to market your products. And I neglected the fact that it’s still a powerful tool to help and inspire others (intentional or not) in whatever aspect of their life.
The Purpose
And now that I am a mother, I recognized more the need for me to be out there. Sharing my stand on social issues and trying my best to create an impact to as many lives as possible. Because what I do and don’t do today will have an effect on the world that my son will live in years and years from now.
As a new mom trying to figure out how to raise a good child, I also want to set an example so when the time comes when he has his own voice, power and influence, he will also strive hard to use it in helping and making a positive impact on other people’s lives.
The Question
Social media indeed, is here to stay. It can be very toxic and can steal the most precious memories if you’re not disciplined enough to know which one to prioritize. It can spark anger, jealousy, hopelessness and sorrow. However, it is still a very powerful tool to spark change and inspiration.
The question now is will I continue to stop sharing or using social media because I hate some aspects of it? Or will I maximize it to make my life more relevant and meaningful?
And since you reached this article via social media, you know that I chose the latter and I hope that I imparted something positive on your life, no matter how small it is.
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